Girls and Body Image: Tips for Parents, Teachers, Coaches, and Guardians

When reading most magazines, watching music video, watching commercials on television, or looking at billboards, you can't help but notice that girls and women are used to sell just about anything. Expectations for appearance are laughably unrealistic, and many girls quickly develop the mindset that they are not thin enough, pretty enough, sexy enough or their teeth are not straight and white enough. It is safe to say that the average adult knows these impeccable humans (often celebrities and models) are not as they seem. Many of the celebrities and models often have a support system of personal chefs, private fitness trainers, stylists, to help keep them "beautiful". They are "dolled up" for photo shoots, have the right lighting and are photographed from the right angles in addition to having their photos “touched up/airbrushed”, to reveal a flawless appearance. The question is do most girls and women know and understand this or are they ignoring the fact that it exists due to the extreme pressure of being perfect?

Does appearance matter to girls? Absolutely. Without a doubt, our culture and media are obsessed with women's looks. You can find magazine covers and website links on a regular basis with titles like "How Celebs Are Slimming Down! The Diet Secrets Of Hollywood’s Hottest Stars" or "Jada Pinkett-Smith, 42, Rocks Hot Bikini Body on Hawaiian Vacation". You can also see National Enquirer or Star tabloid papers with titles like "Stars Lose Fight with Cellulite". Celebrities display unrealistic bodies that most girls cannot duplicate without doing harm to themselves. These not so subtle messages being sent to girls all over America. It causes them to compare themselves to these "perfect" people and they begin to feel as if they can never quite measure up to the standard they see on a regular basis. This can result in low self-esteem and lack of confidence, and poor health. In addition, it can directly lead to some girls becoming obsessed with their looks and desperately try to change them via smoking cigarettes, diet pills, prescription medications that suppress the appetite, laxatives or just not eating. Talking to girls about their bodies is not an easy task to embark upon but a necessary one in order to stave off the media images/messages in our society regarding what defines beauty. Let's not forget about boys. Parents need to pay attention to them as well, so they understand that the images projected are not realistic and they should not hold girls to that standard. It doesn't happen as often with boys as with girls, but they can suffer from eating disorders as well. There is a recently published book titled Shattered Image by Brian Cuban (brother of the NBA Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban) in which he talks about his struggles with eating disorders.

Tips For Parents/Guardians/Teachers/Coaches

1. Think before you speak. Don't spend a lot of time talking about dieting or criticizing your body, or commenting on how "skinny" someone is or has become. Children are listening and will take heed to what you are saying even if it is subtle. Take care of yourself and lead by example. This will have a tremendous impact .
2. If your child/a child is having difficulty with their body image, you can have a talk with them about any body image issues you may have or had and share how you approach(ed) dealing with it. Also find out how they feel about their body image and help them devise a plan to deal with it appropriately.
3. Try to monitor your child's social media activity without being a "big brother" figure. See if your child is making inappropriate or negative comments regarding a person's weight and/or looks that can be destructive to that person's self-esteem/self-confidence.
4. Parents: Do not decide to deprive your child of food. Help them prepare a reasonably healthy lunch for school with items they like. Having something "sweet" included is okay. I know of a mother that took control of her 9 year old daughter's lunches. The only thing that occupied her lunch box each day was a mini bagel, string cheese and a bottle of water. This is most certainly sending the wrong messages and doing more damage than good.
5. Be sure to keep children active. Too many children lead sedentary lifestyles (watching tv, on the computer, playing video games. Get outside to play when possible, join a team or get involved in some type of recreational activities.
6. Don't place emphasis on weight (it sends the wrong message). Promote a healthy lifestyle.
7. Compliment girls on their talents (confidence, toughness, etc). Make sure they know that there is more to them than looks.
8. Suggest role models other than celebrities (e.g. yourself, other adult family members)
9. Help your child look at television ads, print ads, and billboards with a critical eye. Ask them if they can figure out what message is being sent through these ads, who they are targeting, and how they feel about it.
10. Let them know that there is a lot that goes into altering videos and photographs so that models can look as if they have no imperfections.
11. Speak with them about the dangers and health issues associated with eating disorders.
12. If you suspect that your child is suffering from an eating disorder, don't hesitate to seek a medical professional Eating disorders can be life-threatening.
13. Don't constantly talk about weight. Emphasize a healthy and active lifestyle. Join a team at their school or at a recreation center, go for a walk/run with a family members, biking riding, indoor rock wall climbing, roller/ice skating, etc. There are many options to choose from!

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